I think this is excellent advice overall, especially in nerdy spaces where guys have usually been socialized to be less assertive and sexually aggressive. I also think that society is pushing men to be less proactive with every elevatorgate story. This creates a sort of vicious cycle: conscientious guys are less likely to be assertive, which means that the average guy who *is* assertive is more likely to be a low-conscientiousness asshole, which makes the experience of being aggressively pursued worse for women, which pushes these norms even further along. If you're a woman in a community where guys are judged for being "pushy" or "horny", you gotta make up the pushiness and horniness yourself.
I do hear from a lot of women that they're simply not attracted to guys who don't have the balls to ask them out proactively. I think that in some cases this is an excuse for being lazy and passive, but for many women it is a real preference that likely can't change. I'm not sure what to advise these women. Perhaps they should show interest in more oblique ways, like linking to a guy's blog post that they enjoyed :)
Straight programmer men, where is the most obvious place a non-technical woman would hang out to naturally meet you?
I think this is excellent advice overall, especially in nerdy spaces where guys have usually been socialized to be less assertive and sexually aggressive. I also think that society is pushing men to be less proactive with every elevatorgate story. This creates a sort of vicious cycle: conscientious guys are less likely to be assertive, which means that the average guy who *is* assertive is more likely to be a low-conscientiousness asshole, which makes the experience of being aggressively pursued worse for women, which pushes these norms even further along. If you're a woman in a community where guys are judged for being "pushy" or "horny", you gotta make up the pushiness and horniness yourself.
I do hear from a lot of women that they're simply not attracted to guys who don't have the balls to ask them out proactively. I think that in some cases this is an excuse for being lazy and passive, but for many women it is a real preference that likely can't change. I'm not sure what to advise these women. Perhaps they should show interest in more oblique ways, like linking to a guy's blog post that they enjoyed :)